D.K.

home 2013

1 - snow storm

2 - shot by A.

3 - it’s all about the blankets

I met Marina Abramovic. I touched her and said that I appreciated her work very much. Even though I am not a big fan of overglorifying people she is still pretty badass and I like her a lot.

Last night’s dream:

I was in one of the old viennese underground trains, but the train was above ground and the train was moving in a circle in a jungle, as if you were on a safari. It was a group of people who wanted to travel through the jungle. At one point something happened and the woman who drove the train couldn’t use the breaks anymore and some of the windows broke. We didn’t start to panic until we saw a tigress with some babies. It started to prepare itself for a jump and everyone hoped it would miss one of the open entries which were glass windows before, and it actually missed and everbody sighed with relief. But since the train rode in a circle we passed the tigress once again and this time it didn’t miss and jumped right into the train. Everybody freaked out and tried to hide somewhere, which was not possible for obvious reasons. The tiger walked around a little bit and then I woke up.

Anonymous asked: Hello there, I wonder which b/w film you use. You take nice, calm and interesting photographs. Thanks for sharing (:

Hi, the photo you asked for was shot on Ilford SFX 200. I only used this film once. For the rest I usually use Ilford HP5 400. But I don’t know that much about film quality. Have a nice day too.

Photoautomat - November 2012

I’m in textile heaven.

a few words that will be forgotten

This summer has already been so heartwarming and wonderful.

I remember seeing my friend leaving for China, going on a journey not only physically but also mentally. I remember having big plans with her for autumn when she returns and already being so excited about them that everything that bugs me now seems so unimportant and unworthy of my attention.

I saw my little baby elk aka my baby cousin who grew a lot in the last year. And I miss her little smile and her little arms she put around me and her saying she wants to see the moooos (cows) and then her being scared of them and deciding to not wanting to see them anymore. I remember slipping and falling in the coldest mountainwater I’ve ever been in where I couldn’t feel my feet within ten seconds with my little elk in my arms and not feeling how my foot got ripped by a sharp stone trying to protect her so she wouldn’t fall on a rock. I remember noticing my bloody foot and being proud of it in a childish and innocent way. I remember visiting the village and the mountains my parents grew up in and getting to know my grandparents once again. I remember my grandpa tearing up because he hadn’t seen us in such a long time. I remember listening to my grandma and watching her cry at least twice a day. I remember my mum stepping on the ground of her home village for the first time in 40 years. I remember waking up in the morning with pain in every muscle of my body but never have I felt so alive. I remember drinking the clearest and coldest water of my life which tasted especially good being surrounded by only dust and desert heat. I remember walking the streets of a city which is living by contrasts and for which I have a lot of mixed feelings. I remember swimming in the ocean, swallowing salty water and shaking off my fear and swimming further away than ever with another family member while ignoring the scared and loud warnings of my mother until I couldn’t hear them anymore, until I couldn’t hear anything anymore. I remember laying there on my back on the surface of the ocean being far away from everything, so it felt, and getting calmer and calmer when suddenly my aunt shouted that there was a huge jellyfish right between us. I remember panicking and swimming back like I never swam before and I remember feeling more and more safe the further away I was, right when I stepped on the soft back of another jellyfish. I remember reaching the beach exhausted and out of breath, laying down in the safe sand and not being able to stop laughing at myself and my aunt who was still out in the water, laying on an air mattress, too scared to put her arms into the water in order to swim back. I remember saying goodbye and coming back home and feeling incredibly lost but ready to rest from the exertions of travelling around.

I remember going to the concert of my favourite band by myself and seeing them perform an incredible show even though they were in a different city, even in a different country the night before. A dream come true.

I remember visiting a friend’s home somewhere in Austria. Seeing what she saw when she was little. Seeing her trusting me enough to let me in her own childhood space, letting me get to know a whole new part of her life. I remember sunbathing topless by a turquoise and crystal clear lake and talking nonsense and a lot of girl talk. I remember visiting the grave of her brother who left the world too young. I remember her trying to distract her mind. I remember sharing all of this with another friend of us. I remember seeing once again how my friend is struggling the whole time. I remember sitting with her till 4 a.m on my birthday which I refused to celebrate or even mention and bursting out in tears for all the cruelness and unfairness that happens in the world, and then laughing at ourselves because she started to cry too and somehow the image of two girls crying in the middle of the night seemed just so funny to us. Or maybe we laughed because we felt at ease and everything was said and understood.

I won’t remember sitting here now and writing all of this down. What matters is that these things happened to me in only two months and I am treasuring these moments in my heart even though I maybe won’t remember them one day. They had an impact on me. They are carved in on my heart like some random initials carved in on a tree. These sweet scars will remain here on my heart forever.